


Someday, maybe

by wintrywinds



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Little bit of angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 14:56:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6333511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintrywinds/pseuds/wintrywinds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall and Harry spend a day together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someday, maybe

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own One Direction.  
> I want to thank Britt and Gem for helping me out with this.

Niall wakes up to someone's foot prodding at his cheek, he's lying on his stomach he realises. The pillow soft against his face and he's feeling restful at the moment.He blinks rapidly a few times, allowing himself to panic for a few seconds while trying to remember where the hell on earth is he right now. _Home_. A soft voice says in his head. _You're home, Niall_.

 

 Niall feels warm at the thought. Something comforting spreading throughout his body at the realisation that he's currently tucked away in his own bed, lying under his own duvet. He takes a few good seconds to blink back the emotions that flood in his body when he finally registers that it is actually, Harry's foot that nudged him into the state of awakening. He can smell the lavender burning in the room and the aloe lotion Harry's applied onto his foot. Niall stays like that for a few moments, blissed out and grinning into his pillow, his heart feeling full until his body gets restless and the urge to see Harry's face kicks in harder.

 

                He musters up enough strength to prop up on his elbows and look around the bed. There are dozens of pictures spread around him of what seems like the entirety of his camera roll from his trip to Asia and in the middle of it is Harry. He's pushed Niall to the far left corner of the bed and himself is sprawled comfortably on his stomach, scantily dressed in a pair of tiny black shorts and a grey beanie. Niall's eyes settling at his ass. He feels his chest grow a bit tight at the sight of the colourful images of sunsets, beaches, remembering the few great weeks he's had and just how lucky he is in life to be able to do the things that he does.

 

         He shakes his head putting the thoughts aside to mull over them later and clears his throat a bit loudly, moving his eyes from Harry's ass and fixing it at the back of his head and raising his eyebrows at him as if saying, _really_? "Hiiii," Harry says looking up at Niall at a weird angle, "Sleep well?" his voice sounding a bit hoarse probably from the lack of use and maybe from both of them going at it like animals earlier that day.

 

"Always sleep better when next to you, love. I'm guessing you didn't sleep at all?" Niall coughs into the duvet, turning red at the sudden display of affection.

 

   "Had work to do didn't I?" Harry gives Niall a toothy grin and sticks his tongue out in concentration, focusing on the picture in his hand. Niall closes his eyes for a second and can almost feel his cock hitting the back of Harry's throat. He hadn't meant to go that hard but after almost two months of Harry's absence from his life, Niall had been a bit greedy and had taken more than he should have.

 

      "Shouldn't have done that earlier," Niall says, immediately regretting the words as soon as they leave his mouth."Like y'know cause of your voice." Niall tries to salvage the conversation. He can't exactly make out Harry's expression from this side of the bed but surely his grin is wiped out at Niall's poor way of wording his thoughts.

 

"You don't have to worry about my voice mate, we don't have a show to perform after this," Harry says quietly shaking his head and raising a hand to tuck away some strands of hair that have fallen out from the beanie, a photograph still grasped tightly in his hand."I mean as long as you return the favour, right?"Harry turns his head to face Niall and winks at him.

 

Niall tries to sit up in a better position so he can see Harry's face clearly. A few photos falling off the bed in the process."Oh you know me, always the gentleman," Niall says jokingly, heart beating rapidly in his chest. The urge to see Harry's face replaced with the want to kiss him as seconds tick by. He settles for kissing his foot.

 

"Hey, just so y'know I'm really happy that you're here," Niall continues, "I was going to text you anyway so I'm glad that you came to pick me up at the airport."

 

"I know you are Niall, I know," Harry tells him elbowing Niall's calf as if trying to assure him that he really does understand whatever Niall was trying to say, "By the way some of these are amazing, I'm really rubbing off on you, aren't I?" Harry says cheekily.

 

"Pfff." Niall just grins at that because in all honesty all the photography sessions with Matt that Niall was dragged into by Harry have definitely paid off. He's quite satisfied at how the images have turned out, the evidence in front of him. He feels proud even of the ones that are just the bony, pointy elbows of his cousins or blurred images of the night sky but Harry doesn't need to know that so instead he settles for pulling a face at Harry, who pulls an even more ridiculous face back.

 

"Gonna take some of 'em with me when I go," Harry breathes out. Niall tries not think about when that might actually be and the fact that Harry is already thinking about leaving.He chooses to focus on the curve of Harry's smooth back and how much he wants to lick it.

 

       "Hey Haz, turn around a bit love," Niall says while trying to stifle a yawn,"I want to look at your face before you steal some of my work."

 

Harry huffs out a laugh and shuffles around a bit and then a few twists and turns later he's facing Niall directly. "Missed me?" Harry asks while shoving a picture in his face. "You should post it." Harry whispers. Niall has to rub hard at his eyes to clearly look at it. It's a selfie which he'd taken on the Maya Bay beach. _Heaven on earth_ , the articles had promised him. And truly it had been. He'd had this urge to drink some of the water, the stars in the sea. Just to maybe feel stars running through his blood, and to feel a little closer to the moon. _Weirdo_ , his mind speaks up again. Niall resists the urge to roll his eyes at himself.

 

"Yeah?" Niall whispers back, "You like it?" Harry smiles a bit and reaches behind him in search for something. He presents his hand forward to press the home button on his iPhone.

 

   "I love it," Harry shrieks with excitement, "See I've even set it as my phone lock screen and background."

 

"Clearly, don't forget to put it on the Christmas card this year, then." Niall smiles at him. "Never." Harry pouts. He opens his mouth again to say something but managing to only exhale loudly.

 

  Niall's sure his heart skips a beat at being the background to Harry's phone. It's so silly, he thinks. But he's happy at the thought that at least within the safety of Niall's house Harry will see his face every time his phone lights up, he's sure the second Harry steps out of his house it's just going to be another one from the album that's titled ‘B&W’ in his phone.

 

"I missed your face, c'mere," Niall murmurs while pulling Harry close and touching his naked forehead to Harry's beanie covered one. Niall kisses him then, as soon as Harry opens his mouth to say something. Niall eating up his words and that has Harry sighing into the kiss.

 

"Yuck. Go brush your mouth, your breath stinks," Harry complains into Niall's mouth. Niall kisses him a bit harder at that.

 

Harry pulls back a few seconds later. His lips swollen and shiny with spit. The beanie sliding off to one side. He's looking at Niall dazedly. He opens and closes his mouth a few times trying to say something but settling for a little shrug. He looks so adorable and disgustingly cute that Niall's heart is ready to burst with love for him. _I love you_ , Niall wants to say but settles for, "I'm so comfy right now, never gonna move from this bed for me whole life now."

 

"Yeah, and live without all the beer and the golf, no chance Nialler," Harry chuckles, tucking his head into the crook of Niall's neck. They stay like that for sometime. Niall's chest swelling with hundreds of different emotions at being this close to Harry after so long. Harry gives his nose a tiny peck then he's back to his original position. Niall complaining loudly at the loss of contact. Harry has his feet propped up against Niall's head and is tapping away at his phone. Niall sits up, his back straining from lying around for as long as he did. He's got a direct view of Harry's face, illuminated by his phone screen. He tries not to think about whom he might be texting. _We're not exclusive_ , Harry's voice ringing in his head from two months ago and it still hurts as fuck.

 

          Niall shoves that memory far off into his mind, wanting to put off the conversation for as long as possible. His mind struggling to find something else to distract him then he remembers Bobby mentioning about a visit the next day.

 

    "Bobby's coming around tomorrow." Niall utters, yawning and rubbing a hand across his face.

  "I know," Harry replies a smile tugging at his lips.

   "Been talking to him then?" Niall asks.

 If it had been anyone other than Harry mentioning to Niall about keeping in touch with his father, he might've have been crept out a bit. But it's Harry, and anyway Niall doesn't mention the few decent pictures he's sent to Gemma, Des and Anne from different places across Asia. He just shrugs mentally.

 

"Just because I stopped talking to you, doesn't mean I had to stop talking to Bobby," Harry laughs kicking Niall in the ribs. Niall fakes getting hurt and makes a lot of whining noises. Both of them just laugh at their silly antics.

 

   There's a flutter in Niall's chest. The thought of Harry texting his dad stirs something in him. Like he can just close his eyes and pretend that it's 2010 all over again and they've not got a care in the world. He feels a slight ache of want in his body and wants to screw all of his emotions shut in one of those air tight containers and throw it away into the ocean.

 

   "Still think my dad is a legend?" Niall asks in all seriousness.

    "Of course." Harry replies without missing a beat. Harry kicks him again and Niall laughs out a bit harder.

    "So, what're you going to cook then? I'm hungry." Harry asks diverting his attention back to the phone. "Am not going to cook," Niall says his voice going a bit tight due to the internal crisis he's been having since he woke up.It feels like he's missing something important right now, his brain just can't comprehend what. He just pulls the sheets further up his body. He notes that he isn't wearing anything at all. _Well._

"You're going to do the cooking, after all you're the baker right," Niall says quietly and gives Harry's foot another soft kiss. "I've got a few recipes lined up on the laptop, can go through them if you like."

 "I already went grocery shopping and bought a few dozens of eggs and juice and managed to get a parking ticket," Harry frowns. A slight pout forming on his face. Niall wants to kiss him.

 

   He shuffles around a bit settling into a more comfortable position that's not unsettling for his dodgy knee. "How'd you manage to do that then?" Niall asks, a look of amusement on his face. "I mean it's only what, one in the afternoon." Niall says glancing at the clock on the wall to his right side.

 

"Shut up, I've already got like eight-hundred messages about it, so don't start," Harry whines, a hand reaching out to move some of the pictures aside and piling them untidily by the corner of the bed.

 

"Embraced being rich best from all five of us, you have." Niall teases throwing his head back in laughter while Harry rolls his eyes at him.

 

"Nooo." Harry sticks out his tongue at him turning back to his phone, not waiting for a response. The beanie completely fallen off his head, he’s still lying on top of some of Niall's artwork. Well, at least according to him it is, his artwork. He has a sudden itch to kick Harry and maybe check his own mail. On the flight back to London he'd managed to check his mails and there had been one in particular that had caught his attention. It was a forwarded mail to him by his PA. It'd simply asked Niall to contact them if he would ever be interested in doing a show of about ten episodes touring Asia, sharing his experience with the world, while of course promoting a few brands here and there. He'd marked it as important. But it'd still stuck around his brain, already trying to work the details out. _Later_ , he thinks to himself, _focus on Harry right now_. His hand running mindlessly through his hair.

 

  It takes some extra amount of effort to move across the bed and lay beside Harry. Taking the phone out of his hand and kissing him square on the mouth. "I'm hungry." Niall whines into the kiss. The last thing Niall remembers eating was his and Harry's come. Niall thinks of the morning he's had.

 

   When he'd been in LA he'd sort of prepared for Harry to drop by for a visit but not actually been expecting him to be sitting in the car, with a sheepish grin on his face. They'd made a pact in the car to talk about whatever the fuck had been happening for the past few months. And as soon as they had entered Niall's house, Harry had cornered Niall by his doorway and given him the best blowjob of his life, while tugging himself off. Both of them coming onto Harry's hands. Niall had dropped down onto his knees in front of Harry and both of them had licked their come off of Harry's fingers. After that, Niall had gone straight to bed and seems like Harry had reached for Niall's phone.

 

"I can make breakfast." Harry says pulling away from Niall's lips noisily.

 

"How about I return the favour first?" Niall grins. "Yeah, man fuck the breakfast." Harry manages, shuddering a bit.

 

Niall works his way out of the duvet and climbs on top of Harry. He looks down at him. _Work of art_ , he wants to say but settles for digging his fingers into his love handles and licking one of his nipples. Harry moans loudly. His hands coming to rest at Niall's ass. "Well let's get started then. What're you waiting for?" Harry says smugly while pushing his hips forward.

 

*

 

    They're both breathing hard by the time Niall's done swallowing. His forehead resting against the inside of Harry's thigh, a stripe of come over his cheek. "Fuck, Nialler," Harry murmurs his hand running through Niall's hair "That was something." Niall grunts in response.

 

Tongue feeling a bit heavy from the load of come he's just swallowed and his stomach grumbles. He's still working himself off, jerking his dick hard and fast. He's so, so close. He comes with a loud moan when Harry pulls at his hair roughly. He brings the hand covered in his come up to Harry's face.

 

      "No thanks, I think I've had enough jizz for today. I would like actual food." Harry gets out licking a stripe of the clean space on Niall's index finger.Niall just pulls a face and wipes his hand at Harry's stomach.

 

"Gross." Harry mutters while pulling Niall up and kissing him. This is so familiar to Niall, that he's clutching his arms around Harry more tightly. Lying on top of Harry post fucking. None of them bothering to get up to change their messy, sticky state. It tugs something in Niall's heart, that he has to remind himself again and again that this is real, that Harry is really here. So Niall stays there, revelling at being in the arms of his best friend, the man he loves, once again.

 

It's Harry who gets up first. Wriggling his way out from under Niall and trotting over to the small drawer in Niall's room and plucking out a fresh white shirt and putting it on and nothing else. The black shorts god knows fucking where.

 

He throws a shirt in Niall's direction. "Get up you lazy ass."

 

      "Haz I'm just really happy here right now, I just-- thanks for choosing to come over and sorting out our sorry asses, yeah?" Niall croaks out. He just wants to let Harry know how much it means to him that he's here with him right now.Though he's not sure where they actually stand at the moment. Everything’s been a bit blurry since Harry held his hand during the ride home. _It's fucked_ , this feeling,he admits to himself, _the state of being more than friends but having to act less than lovers_. The entire morning they've been falling in and out of conversation. He's just takes small joy in the fact that, even though they are out of sync at the moment, they are trying. Harry, willing to give both of them another chance.

 

Harry's face distorts into a pained expression which Niall reads as him trying to find the right words to say something that's been on his mind. Niall knows better than to force it out of him so he just waits for Harry to speak up.

 

"Wear some clothes, I'll be in the kitchen." Harry coughs into his neck, walking out from the room.

Niall gets up from the bed in a hurry and throws on whatever shirt Harry had chucked at him. "Scrambled eggs?" Harry asks Niall once he enters the kitchen.

 

"Yep." Niall shakes his head while settling on one of the stools by the counter. He thinks about how scared he'd been the past few weeks at the prospect of never seeing Harry again. Or, just as some ex-bandmate. The thought alone had resulted in many prolonged nights thinking about how long would it be till they would be ready to face each other again. He wants to thank anyone who had been listening to him then as Harry himself had stumbled back into his life. _Will you chill? It's just been a few hours you fool_ , a voice chides in his head. He ignores it and focuses on Harry instead.

 

   Harry sets the water for boiling. Then he moves over to the fridge bringing out a crate of eggs and settling it onto the counter. He looks at the eggs in concentration, as if they were to crack up any given second now. Niall wants to ease out the lines forming on his forehead.

 

    "Hey Niall?" Harry asks standing at the opposite end of the counter. He'd been holding the eggs in his hand figuring out what to do with them, while Niall had been sitting there reliving all the times this had happened before.

"Yes, pet?" Niall smiles.

"Are you really sure you want me here?" Harry's voice straining with effort.Something about the tone of it causing Niall to straighten his posture.

 

"Thought I'd spent the last few hours telling you just about how much happy I am to see you in this house once again." Niall tries to sound casual despite the worry working its way up his throat.

 

"Yeah but you haven't really put it back up," Harry immediately replies, the eggs in his hand forgotten while he looks up at Niall hopelessly.

 

"Put what u-- ," Niall stops mid sentence. Shit, he thinks to himself. The photo frame. There's a slight ache in his chest at the sad and painful memory they had shared around nine days into the new year.

 

"You just-- I mean, I haven't stopped thinking about it since I stepped into the house. Hell, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since that afternoon Niall, and you just-- " Harry's voice breaks at the last part, he places the eggs over the table hands curling into little fists.

 

Niall immediately gets up from where he's currently sat and walks up to Harry putting his hands around his face. His skin feels hot. The morning suddenly taking a turn for the worse.

 

   "I haven't, I just-- God, fuck, come with me." Niall says quietly. He smooths Harry's fists and takes his hand into one of his and leads him to the area opening up into the lounge. It's still there. The photo frame, it's front side facing the smooth surface of the table, hiding the image it holds from the world. Sitting there as an evidence to the ugly memory in their life.

 

Niall had been drunk when he'd called Harry on the New Years to bitterly yell at him about all the shit that he'd pulled around the last few days of December. He'd hung up when Harry had started to speak and didn't reply to his calls or texts for a good nine days.

 

Niall's sure he'd overreacted then but he'd been pissed as hell at Harry. That afternoon he had plans with Eoghan to settle some more details about the trip before he left for LA. So when the doorbell had rung, Niall had mindlessly opened the door barefoot, a beer in his hand and a wide grin plastered on his face. Niall's face had grimaced on finding Harry at his doorstep. He'd immediately shut the door to his face only to open it two seconds later all the while muttering, what the hell under his breath.

 

     "What do you want?" Niall had angrily asked Harry. Harry had winced a bit at Niall's tone but nonetheless come forward to hug him. Niall had just stepped back, telling Harry to never touch him again. Ever. He'd warned him quickly. Then he'd gone about wearing his boots and getting ready for going out with Eoghan, while Harry had stood beside the table looking sad and miserable as fuck. He'd been making his way to Harry to tell him to get out of the house, when his phone had chimed notifying him of Eoghan's arrival at his doorstep. He'd taken one look at Harry's face and felt himself going a bit soft but the tan in his skin immediately reminding him of his unresolved anger.

 

He'd tried to noisily shuffle across Harry and out the door when the younger lad reached out for his hand,while yelling,"Fuck's sake Niall, just listen to me for a minute. We're not exclusive, you never said once during all the years we fucked. Not once."

 

 Niall had just tugged his hand out of his grip. "Fuck you Harry Styles, I don't even know who the fuck are you anymore and you're right we're not exclusive." Niall had said in a quite voice, laced with hurt. His heart wanting to beat out of his chest at Harry's words. We're not exclusive, ringing in his ears over and over again.

     "Just leave, please or even better I'll leave." Niall had said with a practiced monotone voice, each step he took towards the door feeling as if he was being dragged under water.

 

"No, if you walk away now, I swear I won't be here when you come back Niall, just talk to me, please Ni." Harry had requested, yelling at Niall all the same.

  "Fuck you." Niall had let out and while moving towards the door he'd picked up the sleek, black photo frame from the table and put it facing down suggesting that he couldn't bare to look at it. He didn't turn back, not even at the small sob that had escaped Harry's throat. He just, couldn't do it.

 

He had come back three hours later to find the house empty and the photo frame in the same position that he'd left it in. He'd curled up under the table blinking rapidly till his eyes went dry and he had continuously dialled Harry's number, which kept going to voicemail each time, breaking Niall even further.

 

The next time they met had been in LA. Niall had apologised for being a dick to him. Harry had apologised as well, for whatever went down. Harry had been a bit put off over the fact that Niall was leaving the same day but the bags had already been loaded into the car and the little troop tagging along with Niall were all set to go. They'd both come to a mutual decision to not speak for sometime. A bit of distance might help, Harry had said. Niall hates it. He'd decided about three days into the agreement. All he wanted to do was text Harry and make fun of him for all the acting rumours surfacing about him but he'd stopped himself then.

 

They're standing by the table. Niall's one hand caressing Harry's hand and the other dangling on the edge of the table.

 "I didn't forget about it-- " Niall tries to say. "You just didn't wanna speak about it." Harry completes for him.

Niall’s suddenly feeling very tired so he slumps down on the floor taking Harry with him. They're a mess.

 

The frame, it had been one of the things Harry had given to Niall as a housewarming present, when Niall had moved in three years ago. And it had stayed in that exact position taking up this tiny space in Niall's house and a large part in his heart from the day Niall had been allowed to claim it as his.

 

It'd just been there for three years. Proudly displayed on the table with the words you and me carved on it. It's one of Niall's most favourite thing in the world. He turns around and presses himself against Harry, holding on to him, as if trying to absorb some of Harry's hurt into him and to somehow make him hurt less.

 

"Will you talk to me?" Harry asks.

"I -- "there's a lump forming in Niall's throat. He can't. _Yes you can_ , a voice reminds him, _look at him. You love him and he's ready to love you back_.

 “Harry, why'd you do it then? Leave me before New Years. In spite of having read the message I'd sent to you with the details?” Niall questions, breathing into Harry's neck.

 

A few days after their last performance on the X-Factor, Niall had decided to sort things out with Harry. He'd written a text message to him, informing him that he'd be spending the night in, watching movies off the list that they both had prepared during that weekend in Mullingar years ago, and that there would be his favourite pie by Maura. Honestly, he'd thought that he knew Harry well enough that he would come over if only for the pie but then Niall had received no reply and three days later Harry was papped in St. Barts.

 

   “I'm scared of committing, I just got so scared Niall. I'm so sorry.” Harry breathes out.

    “You don't like, ever tell me anything at all ever. Even after that night in New York, fuck that just. It'd been perfect. I'd opened up to you so, so much and you just didn't like—“ Harry stops speaking.

 

Niall's mind wanders off to 2012, the one time when he'd actually been ready to open up to Harry. To tell him that he might actually like him more than a friend. Niall had been happy, ecstatic even because he was sure that these feelings were iterated. Then Harry got to Niall before dinner and told him about _her_.

Niall's whole world had stopped. They got into a relationship him and her. Harry got absorbed in her. But even when their relationship was making headlines nothing changed between Niall and Harry. Not one thing. They still texted each other at all weird hours, joked about sucking each other's dicks. No one batted an eye. Niall had a hard time explaining to himself that this was Harry's love for him. He loved him in this weird, eccentric way that Niall mistook for something being greater than friends.

Everything was fine. Even when Harry got out of the relationship and kissed Niall, and then kept kissing him again and again. Niall shoved away any feelings because what's a few kisses between best friends,right? Niall didn't take it seriously even when Harry's hand slipped under his pants, then it kept making its way up there, repeatedly. Until one day it completely stopped.

 

That had been a reality check for Niall because after the break everything was just as normal as it could be between them except the fact that maybe Niall had fallen in love with Harry and there was nothing he could do about it. For a greater part of their relationship, _friendship_ , whatever the fuck it had been Niall had thought that they were on the same page, but guess not. So he went along with it. Continued being the best friend to him while his heart was shattering little by little. Then one night during their stay in New York Harry asked Niall to cancel all his plans and spend the night with him. It's one of the best nights of Niall's life.

 

“See, you're doing it now. I'm like right here.” Harry sniffles.

“Fuck, Harry listen I'm sorry for acting that way. You're here now. We've got all the time in the world right?” Niall starts desperately reaching to tangle his fingers with Harry's.

 

“Niall, no. Shit I'm leaving the day after. I've got plans with friends to go to Malibu.” Harry says with panic in his eyes trying to shift so that he can look at Niall's face.

 

Niall drops Harry's hand at that. There's a feeling in his gut that really, really shouldn't be there right now. A déjà vu, hitting him hard, right there in his heart but only this time they've swapped places.

 

         “This feels like you're getting back at me for LA. When you'd asked me to stay, cause you'd only just gotten there but I had to leave for Asia the very same day. Fuck, Harry.” Niall whispers. Harry doesn't say anything. _What the fuck, what the fuck._ Niall wants to scream.

“I can't believe you. Fucking grow up.” Niall mutters quietly putting his hands on the floor to support his weight and shift away from Harry.

 

He doesn't really want to be near him right now. “No it's not that, I'd committed to them long ago, fuck, please.” Harry says trying to grab Niall's hands. “I came here to talk cause I didn't wanna fight anymore, I mean you still not telling me stuff doesn't really resolve anything, but I just don't wanna fight.”

 

   Niall's taken aback at that and maybe a little bit pissed. “Me not telling you stuff doesn't resolve anything, but you fucking off to Malibu does. Right, eh?” Niall looks at Harry. “Okay then. I mean you must go then. To Malibu. To do right by your friends for once in your life. Maybe it'll help with your commitment issues.” Niall finishes calmly.

 

Harry looks away from him, shaking his head. “Right. I’ll be sure to send a memo or two on how to develop better communication skills then.” Harry spits out.

 

This is so mean, but it’s also true. Fuck. Everything's just wrong. He had the best day with his favourite person and now everything's just got fucked.

 

 This time it's a bit different. Harry’s leaving again and instead of pretending to be unbothered by it, Niall wants to throw a fucking fit. A few tears roll down his cheeks, he's surprised at the sight of them. He should probably say something, _anything_. He tries hard to form words but he really can't. He can't break this habit so easily.

 

Harry's jaw is set tightly, like he's holding off something he wants to say. Niall takes a beat to collect himself.

 

 He gets up then. He can hear low sobs escaping Harry's throat. This is so fucking hard,Niall thinks to himself. All he wants to do is be fine with Harry, cause he only just got him back and he really can't leave him sobbing here for the second time in his life.

 

Niall stops and turns around and bends down in front of him. “Hey Harry, hey, I'm sorry okay. We're fine. It's just, we're really not ready to be more than friends right now.” Niall nods assuringly cupping Harry's face in his hands. _I don't think we'll ever be ready_ , he doesn't say out loud.

Harry's breathing hard. His chest moving up and down rapidly. “I'll tell Bobby you had shit to do okay? You can leave.” Niall's throat is burning. He kneels down onto his knees and brushes his lips across Harry's forehead and to hold onto him for the last time because god knows when they'll go out of their way to meet next time.

 

Harry almost smiles at him, looking at him with wide green eyes. “I guess I'll text you or whatever .” Harry sighs and lifts himself up from the floor. He walks towards the bedroom and after a few seconds Niall hears the door slamming shut. And just like that it's another fucking day in his life and he hasn't told Harry that he loves him. Niall goes to the kitchen first and turns off the stove.

 

He looks at the eggs and then looks away.Hunger taken over by something much more powerful, like the need to lie on a bed and sleep forever. He moves towards the guest room in the far corner of the house and the second his body hits the bed he immediately goes off to sleep.

 

*

 

When Niall wakes up this time, it's due him dying of hunger and not due to someone kicking him awake. A knot forms in his stomach. He lies very still for sometime. Straining his ears for any sign of life in the house. It's just endless silence. Niall exhales loudly.

     He's really hungry and not in the mood to cook and he's sure that any leftovers from two months ago don't qualify as edible. But he's hungry and antsy, _so_. He walks towards the empty kitchen and spots a plate on the counter. Niall wants to cry. He trots over to it and lifts the lid off, there's three eggy bread waiting for him with a smiley on top of each one. Niall smiles and rubs his hand on his shirt.

 

He plucks up the plate from the counter and starts moving towards the lounge when he spots the photo frame. It’s been rightly put into its place. Niall and Harry's cherub faces smiling out into the world. And Niall's feeling so emotional that there's tears welling up in his eyes. There's a note next to it. _I just couldn't do this to our seventeen year old selves._ – _Haz_ is neatly scribbled onto a price tag. Niall grins so hard at that. He recalls buying a few shirts recently but never getting around to wearing them or removing the tags.

 

_He stole my shirt_. Niall does a little dance at that. The plate moving in half circles in the air along with his arms throwing weird shapes. He misses him already. They'll find their way to each other, they always do in some way or the other. Maybe in a few weeks or perhaps a few months later Niall will finally tell Harry he loves him. Maybe they'll have a band meeting and Niall will present his collection of songs he'd written during his trip. Most of them drawing comparison between green, green eyes and the colour of the sea, or a set of dimples and the moon. Someday, they’ll be ready for each other. As of right now, he’s okay like this. Both of them doing their own things apart from each other even if it involves a little bit of hurting.

 

Nodding his head at the frame one last time then he moves over to the lounge. He flicks on the television switching it to one of the golf channels and settles comfortably on the sofa while thinking about the photographs that Harry printed earlier that morning, and how he can't wait to go back to his room and find some of them missing.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at summaries.


End file.
